‘It’s only the dull birds that squawk:
The ones worth possessing can talk.’
Now you’ve purchased a crow
That keeps saying ‘Hello!’?
Better start saving up for a cork.

Humans high-handedly ascribe greater value to animals in which we perceive characteristics similar to our own. Yet the shortfall in their accomplishments quickly oppresses us – appearing gruelling, or tedious – with ignoble consequences that often epitomise our own folly and cruelty.