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Category: Pig

183 • Growler

183 • Growler

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One problem with Winnie-the-Pooh
Is trying to remember who’s who,
What with Mowgli the cheetah
That rabbit named Peter
And Piglet, the young kangaroo.

Let’s not forget that characters in children’s books are animated largely by the imaginations of the young readers themselves. Perhaps we should excuse a modern-day adult – a human in whom the creative impulse is largely atrophied – for voicing opinions as palpably fatuous as those in today’s bulletin. Especially since Pooh was really Growler in any case.

145 • Excuses

145 • Excuses

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As I lifted the side of the lorry
Twelve pigs tumbled into the quarry.
Thus the law they call ‘Sod’s’
Caused an outcome at odds
With the one I’d been hoping for. Sorry.

An apology ought generally to be accepted in good faith, but perhaps not when the speaker seeks to blame some external ‘law’ for his or her personal blunder. The Bible speaks of demonic possession in falling swine, of course: this might have made for a more winning excuse, though that story’s Animal Rights credentials are pretty flimsy too.

117 • Rhine recovery

117 • Rhine recovery

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I was casting my pearls before swine
When the fattest one fell in the Rhine.
Two nuns in Cologne
Fished it out with a drone,
But more by good luck than design.

Like many a parable, this poem probably answers more questions than it asks. In terms of title I toyed with ‘The Pearl Fishers’ and ‘The Pig Fishers’ but decided that either would be thoroughly misleading. In any event, the point is proven: one man’s miracle is another man’s coincidence.