189 • Dr Campbell recollected
Our Deputy Dean, Dr Campbell
Told us ‘God’s out to get those who gamble’.
Yet she died, in a bet,
Playing Russian Roulette
Which the School needed skill to unscramble.
This somewhat garish episode from childhood taught us more about adult hypocrisy than we could have learnt from any number of bookish fables or homilies. The school Governors reacted to a popular employee’s death by proclaiming a string of revisionist accusations … how she had ‘lied to the Board who appointed her’ … how her college degree had been ‘incorrectly specified’ … how dates of her previous employment ‘contained inaccuracies’. In short, parents could not blame the school for appointing such a dissolute daredevil to be their children’s moral guardian, because ‘Donna Campbell was not the person she purported to be.’ Well, which of us is? Even as a child I was mesmerised by the Establishment’s feeble catalogue of squirming, pedantic and ineffectual exculpations. Hats off, say I, to a memorable teacher, whose gift for non-verbal demonstration imparted such significant life-lessons.
12 thoughts on “189 • Dr Campbell recollected”
Hey Rick, man, how’s it going man? This is Randy, you remember, back row, Class 1, all thru the sveneties, or was it the eighties, can’t remember now, haha. How you doing, man? I Googled on the Web, some old teachers, came across your blog, knew it was you right away but this one about Docter Campbell clinched it, man that was a bum deal she got. So get back to me, man, it will be cool, I put my email on this comment. This is a gas. Wait till I tell Hooch. You remember Hooch, right? I see him now and again, he has a truck I use. Catchya later, man. Randy.
Dear Randy,
Thanks for your enthusiastic message. Please forgive my memory, but I don’t recall you at all. There wasn’t a Randy in my class, ever. Have you changed your name since those days?
I think it’s more probably a case of mistaken ID. Hope you keep on enjoying My Dog Errol anyway.
Rick
What you saying, Rick, man, you don’t know me? Well how come I know you, man? How come I got this poam in your writing on in our Leavers Yearbook “I briefly new Hopalong Cassidy, Though not in a formal capacity, Our garden he’d pass and go wazz on our grass, and it died when the soil got to acidy.” YOu telling me you didn’t write that one, man? Your good friend, Randy
Dear Randy,
Many thanks for your second communication.
I have to tell you, I’m afraid, that I really don’t know you, and I am not the author of the rhyme you mention. Admittedly the first line is good, but the rest strikes me as erratic. In any case I did not write in this form when I was young; it’s a lot more demanding than it looks.
Either somebody is playing a trick on you, rather successfully, or you are playing a trick on me, less successfully. In either case, the motive is obscure.
I’d be glad if you’d drop this ‘schoolmates’ gambit, and just go on enjoying ‘My Dog Errol’ like many hundreds of other readers.
Best wishes,
Richard Lime
Hey Rick, man, remember me yet?
Randy
Randy,
I certainly do. You are the person who believes he was in High School with me, despite my many protestations to the contrary. I am sorry I have not convinced you – yet – that we are not acquainted, and I marvel at your unrequited tenacity.
Richard Lime
God your cold. Fuck off Rick. End of.
Ah, now we’re getting somewhere!
RL
ya reckon, getting somewhere, Its ME thats getting somehwree, I new I had this somewhere, and its the poam you wrote my card on my birth dayway back, I kept it up til now.
A NAUGHTY YOUNG KNOW-ALL FROM NYACK, WAS CRAMMING TWO COWS IN ONE KAYAK, SAID I TO A BISON, ‘I’M GLAD HE’S NOT MY SON.’
IT ANSWERED, ‘HE’S GLAD YOU’RE NOT MY YAK.’
You cant’ deny writing that one? nyack AND kayak, it obsv. about me.
So somebody’s written a rhyme; it’s clumsy and idiotic; you’ve decided it’s about you.
Thus far, I follow the reasoning.
What I don’t quite ‘get’ is your reason (if that’s the right word) for ascribing the rhyme to me.
Is it signed?
Is it in my handwriting?
I notice you do not adduce a scan or photograph of the piece, and I believe my readers will be quick to realise why.
My connexion with Nyack (which you might have cited, to lend some semblance of veracity to your claim) is a matter of public record. Any connexion between me and you, I’m happy to say, is not.
Richard Lime.
I could care less man, your putting me on and you no it. I saw one of your poam’s and it was dediductaed t Hooch our class mate that you DO no and why do you say you dont no him or me. Its nuber #282 the one about a balloon or somthing.
The rhyme you refer to is here. Do you really think it is ‘about a balloon’? It’s about someone I hope you will not consider voting for, in the Presidential Election which I’m sure you’ve heard about.
And yes, I mention Hooch, dude I went thru high school with. The fact you apparently know somebody of the same name does NOT logically imply that you know me.
You don’t know me, nor I you.
Rick