Your audio typist is Juno:
She hums only music by Gounod.
You’ll implore her to cease
But the din won’t decrease:
She doesn’t know any words you know.

Irrepressibly tuneful and sentimental, the Frenchman’s compositions are the last thing one wants to be reminded of at any time, least of all in a lockdown-defying office. Every memo I dictate for typing begins ‘For fuck’s sake Juno, change the bloody record, can’t you?’ … but the poor girl just hasn’t the linguistic sophistication to oblige.