My match stalled at love-love with Freya,
A consummate shuttlecock player.
She fielded the blame
For our unfinished game
Though a lot of the culpa was mea.

‘Match-maker’, ‘player’, ‘score’, ‘clean sheet’ – sporting jargon is readily confused with informal terms relating to the so-called Battle of the Sexes. Did the lovely Freya catch me on the rebound? Did I take one for the team? A gentleman’s lips are sealed. Or they were sealed. But this Friday is Freya-day. I fear it will be a long walk to the pavilion.