From the front door I called, ‘Hallo Vera,
Could you come just a little bit nearer?
There is one simple test
I must run on each guest
To be certain she’s not a chimæra.’

Some would argue that Vera wasn’t a ‘guest’ when I hailed her in public; and others that a woman snatched from the street isn’t really a guest either. I reject such censorious insinuations. My tests invariably concluded that the persons I sought to address were unattainable, in virtue of their being illusions. There’s not a court in all Siberia – nor, for all I know, in the wider world – that would convict a man for ‘bending his eye on vacancy’. Are you trying to tell me the law is an ass? #MeNeither